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Why you should stop saying 'it's not your fault'
📄 The full episode covers where that pattern comes from and the three other moves that follow from it: www.keca.co.uk/articles/vulnerable-narcissism
When somebody takes a failure personally, the reflex is to tell them it was nobody's fault. Reassurance is not what is missing. The failure has already turned into a verdict about the kind of person they are, and only a more detailed account of the situation can displace a verdict. Warmth is not detail.
#leadership #workplacepsychology #management #difficultconversations #organisationalpsychology
/ Official Transcript
Full Video Text
a colleague says "This is all my fault" stop telling them that it's nobody's fault. Resurance is not the thing that's missing. The failure has already turned into a verdict about the kind of person they are and warmth cannot shift a verdict. Give them the specifics instead. The client moved the goalposts in week 3.
Nobody reprised and that's where the margin went. Boring beats kind. Why would that be?