Why kind people lose negotiations | S2

Your kindness argues for the other side. This explains why kind people lose negotiations. Compassion is, at its core, a negotiating stance. The more compassionate you are, the more you instinctively argue on the other person's behalf instead of your own. That's okay when the other party generally can't fight for themselves, a child, a patient, someone who depends on you, switch your compassion on fully there, but deploy that same instinct against a hardball counterpart in a salary talk or a deal, and they'll simply take everything you concede and ask for more, because you were, in effect, negotiating their case for them.

The skill isn't to stop caring, it's to notice which situation you're in and to switch from being their advocate to my own advocate when the other side clearly doesn't need your compassion. See the full breakdown on the channel.